Message on a paper aeroplane

  I made this aeroplane to fly Because I want to say goodbye To all the loathing, fear and hate I carry with me in this sad state.   I hope this plane flies far and wide; I release the demons kept inside And send them with the plane to soar, And to torment me... Continue Reading →

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Despair

I draw nothing but beautiful faces and figures. My own is showing the signs of age. I was never beautiful, and I defy all those who would tell me otherwise. What I was was pretty. Pretty enough to get by, and certainly photogenic. I'm still photogenic. I can take a nice picture in a decent... Continue Reading →

Moving on is impossible

Over half a year. The modern world says I should have moved on. I should be ecstatic to be single and enthusiastically embracing my new life. I cannot. Every time I hear your name, every time I see your picture, the tears begin anew. I cry for the loss of the future we could have... Continue Reading →

Coma Story Part 4

I found out that I had contracted flu, which had turned into pneumonia extremely fast. I had then developed a wonderful complication called ARDS. Also known historically as 'shock lung', your lungs basically fill with fluid and stop moving. It has a fairly high mortality rate, and from what I have read since joining support... Continue Reading →

Coma Story Part 3

There were more, and odder, dreams. There were some which are still particularly disturbing, including one in which it felt like I was being sexually abused. I have never ever spoken about this. It's hard to talk about something that probably didn't happen because I was sedated at the time, but that feels like it... Continue Reading →

Coma Story Part 2

My memory after that (see Coma Story Part 1) is strange. I have three weeks' worth of hallucinations and dreams from that time. The odd thing is that they are as real to me as walking to the shops yesterday. I have since been told that the particular combination of drugs I was being given... Continue Reading →

Coma Story Part 1

It's exactly ten years ago (as of Nov 28th that is), that I came home from hospital after having been incredibly near death, and in an induced coma for a month. I am writing about it to remind myself of what I've come through, and in the hope that I will lean more towards positivity... Continue Reading →

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